One story which really happened in my place was about a student who was accepted in a university in Peninsular Malaysia. His father was so proud of him and was prepared to do whatever it takes to send him there. The proud father started spending lots of money to finance his study. He was selling lands and cows until pretty much left with almost nothing. Some of the villagers were starting to wonder how come this particular student needs lots of money, while some other students can get by with much less. (Not to mention the assistance from Government scholarship).
Later on, it was found that he never actually set foot in Peninsular Malaysia throughout his 4 years of ‘university life’. Every time his university semester starts he would leave and stay in Kota Kinabalu (a capital city away from his village) and start spending the money he received. When semester break is on, he was back in the village and started telling people of what he had ‘learned’ and acted wise. His family would then celebrate his return like a king!
The routine continued on until the wise side of him caught on. I just cannot imagine the anguish in his parents’ heart upon knowing the real truth. He must have thought for years he was being clever for fooling his parents and the entire villagers. Now he works only as a mediocre employee who successfully cheated himself out from the glory he would have truly achieved.
I am sure while he was doing it; he thinks he was a smart ass. He thinks he fooled everybody. No, he only fooled himself. Now he is nobody – a source of disgrace not only to his kids, but also to the whole area where his story is known. I can’t help but wonders at such stupidity and foolishness.
EXCUSITIS.
Another attitude that often drives me crazy is the disease of ‘excusitis’ or the syndrome of ‘it is not my fault’. Why? Let me explain.
The rule is simple. If you want to become successful; you have to take charge of your life. You want to take charge of life, then BE RESPONSIBLE.
Responsible means – everything is your fault.
Now you may think I am over my head now. Surely every one of us can quote numerous examples of when you stuck in a terrible situation because someone else screwed things up for you. Read on.
What happened in the past may not be necessarily your fault, but how it affects your reactions NOW and in the FUTURE is entirely your own doing.
Are you going to let some events in the past to restrain you from achieving greater height? If you do, you yourself are to be blamed for that. The event was a passive factor and cannot be changed.
You should be blaming something (or someone) who are capable of changing but choose not to. That something is YOU.
This is what is called excuses, excuses, excuses (excusitis). Excuses simply mean passing the blame to something or someone else for your inept.
I cannot study because I have no money.
No, do not blame the money or lack of it, blame yourself because your thinking is ‘no money, no (cannot) study’. I have explained before that money is hardly a factor when you have a strong desire to success. You will be surprised how many people out there using the opposite excuse ‘I cannot study because my parents spoiled me (i.e too much money)’
I cannot study because I do not have the brain like you do.
No, all of us have the brain, you just did not use yours to the same extent I use mine.
I am miserable because my parents abuse me.
No, regardless of being abuse or not, you still can achieve success if you let the experience free from gripping you.
I cannot pursue study in far away places, because nobody will look after my parents.
Later on, it was found that he never actually set foot in Peninsular Malaysia throughout his 4 years of ‘university life’. Every time his university semester starts he would leave and stay in Kota Kinabalu (a capital city away from his village) and start spending the money he received. When semester break is on, he was back in the village and started telling people of what he had ‘learned’ and acted wise. His family would then celebrate his return like a king!
The routine continued on until the wise side of him caught on. I just cannot imagine the anguish in his parents’ heart upon knowing the real truth. He must have thought for years he was being clever for fooling his parents and the entire villagers. Now he works only as a mediocre employee who successfully cheated himself out from the glory he would have truly achieved.
I am sure while he was doing it; he thinks he was a smart ass. He thinks he fooled everybody. No, he only fooled himself. Now he is nobody – a source of disgrace not only to his kids, but also to the whole area where his story is known. I can’t help but wonders at such stupidity and foolishness.
EXCUSITIS.
Another attitude that often drives me crazy is the disease of ‘excusitis’ or the syndrome of ‘it is not my fault’. Why? Let me explain.
The rule is simple. If you want to become successful; you have to take charge of your life. You want to take charge of life, then BE RESPONSIBLE.
Responsible means – everything is your fault.
Now you may think I am over my head now. Surely every one of us can quote numerous examples of when you stuck in a terrible situation because someone else screwed things up for you. Read on.
What happened in the past may not be necessarily your fault, but how it affects your reactions NOW and in the FUTURE is entirely your own doing.
Are you going to let some events in the past to restrain you from achieving greater height? If you do, you yourself are to be blamed for that. The event was a passive factor and cannot be changed.
You should be blaming something (or someone) who are capable of changing but choose not to. That something is YOU.
This is what is called excuses, excuses, excuses (excusitis). Excuses simply mean passing the blame to something or someone else for your inept.
I cannot study because I have no money.
No, do not blame the money or lack of it, blame yourself because your thinking is ‘no money, no (cannot) study’. I have explained before that money is hardly a factor when you have a strong desire to success. You will be surprised how many people out there using the opposite excuse ‘I cannot study because my parents spoiled me (i.e too much money)’
I cannot study because I do not have the brain like you do.
No, all of us have the brain, you just did not use yours to the same extent I use mine.
I am miserable because my parents abuse me.
No, regardless of being abuse or not, you still can achieve success if you let the experience free from gripping you.
I cannot pursue study in far away places, because nobody will look after my parents.
Really? If you succeed in your study, wouldn’t you be in a better position to look after your parents? However, if you have only completed your PMR, how on earth you going to look after your parents, you probably would not be able to look after yourself. In fact you may be a burden to them.
Many more excuses. I could write a book entitled ‘It is all your fault’ describing the one thousand and one excuses people can give to avoid the responsibility of achieving success. Interestingly, some authors have defined ‘leadership’ as ‘everything is my fault’. I believe there is truth in that concept. After all, a true leader will fearlessly shoulder everything happens during his watch.
Unless you do not take it as your fault, you will never succeed. Why? Because if it is not your fault, you would not want to do anything about it, would you?
I mean, if it is somebody else fault then why the heck you would want to fix it.
However, if you take it as your fault, then you are in the position to rectify it.
It is okay to blame yourself, as long as you do something positive about it. It is called positive guilt. If you blame yourself and start crying the whole day, depressed and becoming nuts, then I am afraid the discussion is out of the scope of this book. You just have made the fault certain by having a negative guilt.
Many more failing attitude there is to discuss. The three I have ventured is enough. In fact if you discard all the three attitudes above, you are well on your way to success. You cannot fail!
Many more excuses. I could write a book entitled ‘It is all your fault’ describing the one thousand and one excuses people can give to avoid the responsibility of achieving success. Interestingly, some authors have defined ‘leadership’ as ‘everything is my fault’. I believe there is truth in that concept. After all, a true leader will fearlessly shoulder everything happens during his watch.
Unless you do not take it as your fault, you will never succeed. Why? Because if it is not your fault, you would not want to do anything about it, would you?
I mean, if it is somebody else fault then why the heck you would want to fix it.
However, if you take it as your fault, then you are in the position to rectify it.
It is okay to blame yourself, as long as you do something positive about it. It is called positive guilt. If you blame yourself and start crying the whole day, depressed and becoming nuts, then I am afraid the discussion is out of the scope of this book. You just have made the fault certain by having a negative guilt.
Many more failing attitude there is to discuss. The three I have ventured is enough. In fact if you discard all the three attitudes above, you are well on your way to success. You cannot fail!
(Next is The Winning Attitude)
