9. Reward and Punishment (2).

Another example was when I missed a lecture due to a midday movie on TV which got me hooked up. I was so angry with myself. I decided to stay awake that night to catch up on the subject I missed. I also purposely missed my meal. Within 2 hours I managed to cover what I have missed, but I continued on staying awake doing some revision and being hungry. By 4 .00 am, I was so sleepy and weak, unable to stay awake until sunrise, I decided to sleep on the cold kitchen floor.

That was a horrible experience. I have never repeated the mistake ever again! As much as I hate missing some excellent movies on TV, my subconscious mind simply ignore the temptation for fearing of the consequence.

Another example was when I foolishly spent one whole day playing computer game called Command & Conquer. I was supposed to prepare for a laboratory practical exercise at that time. I did the laboratory exercise horribly wrong the next day. I could hardly understand what was going on and ended up embarrassing myself in front of my colleagues. I decided to punish myself soon after the lab session. I took cold shower in the middle of winter. I shivered like mad. While taking shower, I kept repeating to myself that I did that because I was being indiscipline. Taking cold shower in Adelaide during winter was no joke. I personally do not recommend it to anyone, you could die of hypothermia. That was why I never had any problem with the temptation to play Command & Conquer again. The next time I played was 2 years after I graduated from Medical School. That was after I had so much time to kill. I played until I got sick of it.

Your body needs to recognize which is punishment and which is reward. It has to know which habit is associated with reward and which is with punishment. Subconscious mind will take care from there.

Study hard, play hard and enjoy every moment, just remember that punishment await every indiscipline.

(To be continued with chapter 10, The Winning Edge ... )

9. Reward and Punishment (1).

Reward and punishment is a very simple conditioning theory. A habit rewarded with pleasure will be strengthened and therefore internalized. However, a habit punished with pain will be weakened and eventually eliminated.

To practice this theory is easy. Once you accomplished a short term goal (i.e. passing exam, studied for four hours, handed your assignment etc), please reward yourself with something pleasurable. After you have done this several times, your positive habits will be strengthened and you will eventually adopt and internalized the habits subconsciously.

Similarly, punish yourself with something painful for any indiscipline. I do not mean for you to punish your conventional failure, because failure can be very subjective, depending on the prevailing circumstances. For example, failing in a test not necessarily means a letdown. If everybody else fails, it could mean the questions are beyond what is expected or it could mean insufficient times was allocated for the test. But if you failed because you neglected your study, the negligence is the indiscipline which ought to be punished.

The punishment has to painful enough and it has to be closely associated with the indiscipline act. This to ensure you will consciously and subconsciously avoid the behavior next time. This is a simple scientific fact. Human mind and body is conditioned this way, i.e. to avoid painful experiences and repeat pleasurable experiences.

Your reward can be playing, spending time at the beach, going for a movie with friends, party with friends etc. As for me, I enjoyed every moment I could. I studied hard but at the same time knew how to have fun. I would always seek pleasurable activities only after I think I deserve to enjoy it. I would always associate my enjoyment with my achievement.

For instance, after completing two hours of study, I may go to watch my favourite sitcom Friends or cartoon The Simpson. Another example is after spending the whole Saturday revising study materials, that night I might spent with friends at movies or at some coffee house. So subconsciously my mind and body were recognizing that my pleasure was gained only after putting a lot of effort into something worthwhile.

Next time when I wanted to sit and do some works, my mind and body automatically geared into pleasure seeking benefit. This in turn will empower me to accomplish as much as possible so that the pleasurable experiences ahead can be enjoyed without guilt. Once this became a habit, working and studying become almost effortless, because the mind is set on the on-coming pleasure.

Similarly, the punishment has to be painful and harsh enough for you to suffer from it. The punishment could be missing your favourite program on TV, missing your favourite food for a week, missing a meal for that day (or better still, starve yourself for the whole day), sleeping without blanket or walking in the middle of night in windy winter for half an hour.

To be continued ...

8. Look out for oppurtunity (2).

The opportunity came to my life again when I was finally accepted to do a matriculation in a place far away from home. Had I let this opportunity passed, I probably would have never made it to Australia and thus became a doctor. Only later on I realized that Form Six is about the hardest way to get into any universities. I was only 2 months in Form Six and I was already feeling the complexity of the syllabus, mainly because lack of qualified teacher. Had I stayed there longer, I may have terminated my study life earlier due to various difficulties.

I still remember having a Physics Graduate teacher teaching us Add Mathematics. I pitied her because she had to always call her friends in Peninsular Malaysia, just to get solution for some of the problems we encountered.

I soon found out that in matriculation classes, we were having better (if not the best) qualified teachers. Learning therefore was easy. No joke. A topic I tried to understand in 2 weeks in my old school, I grasped in one session (1 hour) in the Matriculation class. It was at that time when I felt sorry for all the students in my old schools for having such second-rated teachers. I wish I could have been here (at a prestigious school) much earlier.

From that time on, every opportunity that came to my way would surely earn my full attention. I would always jump at the latest news and offers. After learning that I could have a chance to go overseas (Australia), I missed no times in trying my luck by applying it. Despite being giggled by fellow friends, I tried. Always believing that shooting for the sun will at worst put me among the stars. I tried and succeeded and the rest was a beautiful history of my life.

Until today, the best portion of my life is the 6 years I have spent in Australia. I can honestly say that I have grown into the adult of I am now, in Australia. I took the opportunity to learn different cultures, different languages and meet different kind of people. Not to mention the beautiful weather, nice environment, established systems and more civilized community. I have also taken the rare opportunity of learning a Bible course while studying medicines. This is something which is quite impossible in Malaysia. There were many other opportunities I have taken which were largely unavailable here in my homeland.

Even at the conception of this book (2004), I am about to take another opportunity which is a major leap in my life. This is a step which could possibly increase my wealth ten folds. It is going to be sure risky one, but so did all the other opportunities I have taken before. It is going to be no different this time. I promise that you will surely know about this in my later books whether this going to be a successful one or a failure. Time will tell.

So look around you, if there are no opportunities, look even harder. If opportunity presents itself, grab it. It may be the turning point of your life.

8. Look out for oppurtunity (1).

This chapter is simple and straight forward. Be alert to opportunities. Once it is there, grab it. It may appear only once in your life time.

If you are sensitive enough, (equipped with wide range of knowledge and exposure) you will be surprised at how many opportunities are there waiting for you (or someone else). There is a saying which goes ‘the quick and the dead’. How true! If you are not quick enough in life, you will be assured of failure (dead).

This is not only true in student life but even more in working life. In my student life, it took me into Form Six to recognize an opportunities. In Form One, there were two classes, 1A and 1B. I ignored the chance to be in 1A by foiling my assessment exams. There were rumours that those in 1A will be subjected to a much higher expectation and thus will be under much more pressure to perform. I was afraid of that pressure and opted for the more ‘relaxed’ class.

I am still not sure about the rumours, but one thing for sure; even in 1B I was still feeling the pressure to beat my classmates as well as the those students in 1A. I would not know what would have happened if I was in class A, but even in class B I managed to break the school record in my SRP exams three years later.

The fact that I have intentionally choose to stay in mediocre class showed my inferior personality and lack of strong desire to be distinguished in academic achievement. Fortunately I was not too late to change.

The story repeated itself after I broke the record in my school in SRP. I was more than eligible for full-boarding school in Sekolah Berasrama Penuh (Full Board School) in Bukit Padang, Kota Kinabalu. Some students who scored lower than me managed to get in. I did not even bother to get the application form and even ignored the suggestion from teachers and friends to apply for the full board school. My reason was similar, afraid of pressure, afraid of freedom limitation and not to mention afraid from being away from friends and family. Even though I still manage to score the highest in my school for SPM, I could not help but thinking about possibility of me scoring even higher if I was in the full-boarding school. I guess, I will never know.

After Form Five, I became more aware of my potential and vowed not to compromised with the prospect of me achieving the highest possible.

In Form Six, despite being too comfortable with friends and the established reputation, I let go off my fears and applied for University Matriculation in a place I would never ever dreamed of going at that time. When I was accepted, I went to Peninsular Malaysia in Taiping Perak alone without having any idea of what would the whole new world hold for me. The journey from a lonely remote place in deep jungle of Keningau to a bustling place in Taiping Perak was one of those dramatic moments in my life worth capturing for a movie. May be someday, I will make a movie out of it.

7. Atitude and Aptitude determine your Altitude (3).

THE WINNING ATTITUDES.

We have been talking about this right from the beginning. They are simply the opposite of the failing attitudes discussed before. In truth all the chapter titles are the summary of winning attitudes. The point is – attitude can be changed. They are not born with you. You can adopt these winning attitudes or you can adopt the failing attitudes. It is your choice.

Life is a matter of choice.

You always have a choice. The biggest lie is the excuse of ‘I do not have a choice’. No – you did have a choice, but you just choose not to have one. When a person says ‘I do not have a choice’ what actually said is ‘I do not have another pleasurable choice’. The usual example of this is when your superior tells you to do something with no option to say NO. Therefore, you will go on and relate to your colleagues that you have to do it because you have no choice. It is true that you have no choice as long as you want to keep the job (choice that is pleasurable). However, if you consider the possibility of not working under him anymore, suddenly there are millions more choices left for you to make. See what I meant.

Everything in life is about making choices. There is even a story about a dying man lying unconscious on an operating table but still able to reason with what was going on. After recovering from the ordeal, he recalled how he was repeatedly saying to himself ‘I choose to live, I could die, I fell like dying, but I choose to live, I want to live’. So he lives to tell the story.

You can choose to succeed or to fail. 30 years from now and whatever you have turned yourself into (a millionaire or a pauper), remember that you have made that choice today. You study hard, you choose to succeed. You do not and you have chosen to fail. It is your choice!

Learn how to say NO.

There is a book called ‘The art of selfishness’. It tells mostly of how important for us to be freed from other people grip and bully. It may sound easy, but you will be surprised how often people say YES when they really mean NO. Needless to say, the consequent of such mishaps can be painful and long lasting. You may have recalled (not so infrequently) how you have reluctantly say YES when the appropriate respond would have been flat NO. I do not need to remind you how uncomfortable it is to live up the ‘YES’ you have so carelessly uttered.

Free yourself. Say NO. People around you will be impressed and start respecting you for your firmness and principles. No? Yes!

Next is 'Look out for Oppurtunity'. Stay tuned.

7. Atitude and Aptitude determine your Altitude (2).

One story which really happened in my place was about a student who was accepted in a university in Peninsular Malaysia. His father was so proud of him and was prepared to do whatever it takes to send him there. The proud father started spending lots of money to finance his study. He was selling lands and cows until pretty much left with almost nothing. Some of the villagers were starting to wonder how come this particular student needs lots of money, while some other students can get by with much less. (Not to mention the assistance from Government scholarship).

Later on, it was found that he never actually set foot in Peninsular Malaysia throughout his 4 years of ‘university life’. Every time his university semester starts he would leave and stay in Kota Kinabalu (a capital city away from his village) and start spending the money he received. When semester break is on, he was back in the village and started telling people of what he had ‘learned’ and acted wise. His family would then celebrate his return like a king!

The routine continued on until the wise side of him caught on. I just cannot imagine the anguish in his parents’ heart upon knowing the real truth. He must have thought for years he was being clever for fooling his parents and the entire villagers. Now he works only as a mediocre employee who successfully cheated himself out from the glory he would have truly achieved.

I am sure while he was doing it; he thinks he was a smart ass. He thinks he fooled everybody. No, he only fooled himself. Now he is nobody – a source of disgrace not only to his kids, but also to the whole area where his story is known. I can’t help but wonders at such stupidity and foolishness.

EXCUSITIS.

Another attitude that often drives me crazy is the disease of ‘excusitis’ or the syndrome of ‘it is not my fault’. Why? Let me explain.

The rule is simple. If you want to become successful; you have to take charge of your life. You want to take charge of life, then BE RESPONSIBLE.

Responsible means – everything is your fault.

Now you may think I am over my head now. Surely every one of us can quote numerous examples of when you stuck in a terrible situation because someone else screwed things up for you. Read on.

What happened in the past may not be necessarily your fault, but how it affects your reactions NOW and in the FUTURE is entirely your own doing.

Are you going to let some events in the past to restrain you from achieving greater height? If you do, you yourself are to be blamed for that. The event was a passive factor and cannot be changed.

You should be blaming something (or someone) who are capable of changing but choose not to. That something is YOU.

This is what is called excuses, excuses, excuses (excusitis). Excuses simply mean passing the blame to something or someone else for your inept.

I cannot study because I have no money.
No, do not blame the money or lack of it, blame yourself because your thinking is ‘no money, no (cannot) study’. I have explained before that money is hardly a factor when you have a strong desire to success. You will be surprised how many people out there using the opposite excuse ‘I cannot study because my parents spoiled me (i.e too much money)’

I cannot study because I do not have the brain like you do.
No, all of us have the brain, you just did not use yours to the same extent I use mine.

I am miserable because my parents abuse me.
No, regardless of being abuse or not, you still can achieve success if you let the experience free from gripping you.

I cannot pursue study in far away places, because nobody will look after my parents.

Really? If you succeed in your study, wouldn’t you be in a better position to look after your parents? However, if you have only completed your PMR, how on earth you going to look after your parents, you probably would not be able to look after yourself. In fact you may be a burden to them.

Many more excuses. I could write a book entitled ‘It is all your fault’ describing the one thousand and one excuses people can give to avoid the responsibility of achieving success. Interestingly, some authors have defined ‘leadership’ as ‘everything is my fault’. I believe there is truth in that concept. After all, a true leader will fearlessly shoulder everything happens during his watch.

Unless you do not take it as your fault, you will never succeed. Why? Because if it is not your fault, you would not want to do anything about it, would you?

I mean, if it is somebody else fault then why the heck you would want to fix it.

However, if you take it as your fault, then you are in the position to rectify it.

It is okay to blame yourself, as long as you do something positive about it. It is called positive guilt. If you blame yourself and start crying the whole day, depressed and becoming nuts, then I am afraid the discussion is out of the scope of this book. You just have made the fault certain by having a negative guilt.

Many more failing attitude there is to discuss. The three I have ventured is enough. In fact if you discard all the three attitudes above, you are well on your way to success. You cannot fail!

(Next is The Winning Attitude)

7. Attitude and Aptitude Determine your Altitude (1).

Your attitude and aptitude are playing major role in determining whether you will be successful or not. They will determine how high your life will be (hence, the altitude).We all have our own character. Our character is just the sum of our attitudes toward various aspects of our life. In other words, how we react to our surroundings determine whether we will success or fail.

Some attitudes will no doubt head for destruction. One attitude that I certainly now cannot accept of any human being to have is purposeless. If you do not have the sense of purpose, you are a mere existing. You have stopped living. When you stop living, death is assumed in a very near future.

So stop existing and start living!

Another attitude which is equally dangerous is carelessness. This is having no sense of ‘use your head before you move’ or ‘use your brain before you talk’. That is what we also refer as foolishness (or stupidity). Foolishness is not what you are. It is your attitude, you can change it or you can choose not to have it. People can choose whether or not he is being foolish. People can actually pretend to be stupid, because stupidity is simply a behaviour.

So, stop acting like stupid, because you are not!

I often tell my friend that there are three kinds of people that I could not stand and do not want to have anything to do with. They are the idiots, the nuts and the retarded. (Not referring to the mentally challenged). These three groups are basically the same. If you stop your own foolishness, you will soon be able to differentiate between these three types of people.

STUPIDITY AND FOOLISHNESS.

Stupidity and foolishness is not only rampant in school time but also in work fields. There are lots of people act foolish and think they are being smart. As a doctor, I saw frequent foolishness during my day at work. The most frequent is people who are pretending to be sick, just to get sick leave and skip work. They think they are so clever in convincing the doctor about the sickness. Soon enough, they will fool their own immune system and ended up really sick.

As a doctor we have learned that, your body and your mind are one. If you constantly sending message to your body that you are sick, pretty soon you body will create the symptoms of being sick. The symptoms could be just a headache, next time it could be cancer! You want to know more about mind and body, please read Anthony Robbin’s Book Unlimited Power.

Just the other day, my wife’s work mate was fired because she was abusing the company telephone. Her bill got to RM2000 when her salary was only RM600 per month. Previously her telephone abuse cost the company RM3000 but she was forgiven. Her background was that, she cannot afford to lose the job. She is supporting her elderly mother and two younger sisters who were still in school. They were living in a rented apartment which cost her half the salary every month. To lose the job would mean the end of the world for her and her family. In fact my wife was so disturbed just to know that her workmate was fired; my wife wonders how they could live on.

When my wife relates to me the story, I simply said ‘sometimes I marveled at some people’s stupidity’. What is more stupid than this? You cannot afford to lose the job, but you are doing your very best to get fired. Not once but twice. It is just like pissing and defecating on your own rice bowl. What can be more stupid!

Back in school time, such stupidities were paramount. They just don’t realize it. As I said earlier on, they think they were being clever.

Some examples are; students who pretend to study hard just to impress the opposite sex – it is stupid simply because when one is pretending, the effort and concentration are absent. Consequently, they will fail miserably in their exams, regardless of whether they manage to impress their friend or not. Believe me, failing in exams is a great turn-off of any showing-off.

or

students who tried to do art (drawing) in SRP and SPM just so they can boost their aggregate – it is stupid because while their unit may be up, but their mental ability will remain the same. When they get to Form Four or to pre-university, once again they will be having problem in facing the mental requirement needed for the qualification.

or

students who smoke and drink – it is stupid because the money they use to buy cigarettes and alcohol is supposed to be helping them in their quest for success. Furthermore, each puff of cigarettes and each sip of alcohol will kill some of their brain cells. Not to mention the health problem they going to have.

or

students who got pregnant while in school – what do they think! It is simply stupid because, how are you going to continue your study if you have a baby to look after. Please do not even think that you can give the baby away, throwing baby will get you to jail (end of story) and getting caught being pregnant will guarantee you to be expelled from school.

or

students who play truancy – it is stupid simply because they refuse to be successful in life. They are in fact planning to fail.

or

students who had relationship with teacher so they get a high mark – again it is stupid because the achievement will be artificial and you will have trouble when you encounter the real challenge.

or

students who cheat their parents money by using study as an excuses – it is stupid because they are cheating themselves. Their parents already lived their life and it is not them who will reap their son’s stupidity. When the parents are no longer around, the cheater will realize that he actually succeed only in cheating himself. I have real life example of this. Read the example in the next page.

or

students who cheat in their assignment and exams – it is stupid because, again the success you going to get is an artificial one. No wonder they will be among the stupid employees later in the work force.

Many more examples, I just got sick of telling them. (Please read on ... more sickening storries).